Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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