Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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