It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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