I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
