dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
