I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You were trust falling into bushes
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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