yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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