shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
