he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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