He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How's work?
Spinning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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