I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night