worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
