And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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