We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
