that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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