i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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