how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
