What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
