sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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