I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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