I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
