Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
