I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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