R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
