just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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