As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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