you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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