The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
