even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
