Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
