how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize