New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
