my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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