wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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