Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
