im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize