once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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