i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
