Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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