I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize