I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
