trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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