He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
