took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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