Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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