he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
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Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..