i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
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