She is in my trunk
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman