"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow