wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"