she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
