But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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