I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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