Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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