I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
