Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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