there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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