3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
