Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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