a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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