Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
