you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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