Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
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she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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