Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
