He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
