If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
